stoned ramblings, say or post anything you want.

[randude 2,512]

My GF asked me to roll a hash joint tonight, you may have seen how I do it, I roil a little log of hash and put it in a joint.

 

We just harvested some blue dream and it seemed a bit too damp to put in the grinder so she asked me to roll a hash joint with roaches in my little box. I rolled the piece of hash into the shape of a little snake (as MrDirt calls it) and put it in the papers. I tore up some half smoked joints and a couple of them had a hash snake inside of them already. So I put the snakes of hash of those two joints into the paper, and then the new snake of hash and a little weed in to keep it burning. The joint was pretty big, it must have weighed over a gram. I handed it to her and went to wash the resin off of my hands. I come into the bedroom to see her pulling on that big joint and blowing out big bellows of smoke. She did that old cough cough cough cough cough thing for a few minutes, but still managed to get about three or four hits. I took only one, which is sort of usual for me. Oh Man did I get high. It is actually the first smoke I had in a few days. Anyway, one hit and I am loaded. Next thing I know she says she is going to throw up, She gets up and moves around, gets closer to the bathroom and starts talking all this sicky shit. I say you took like 4 hits and that thing was filled with super fire hash. Anyway, she will have a drink of coke or a cookie and be fine in a few minutes I imagine.

 

I have been on the computer all day. We did leave to just drive around town a little, look at some garage sales. She seen a set of ladies golf clubs, almost brand new and she bought them for almost nothing (Golden Bear, whole set, bag, irons and woods $10). Clubs look like they may have been used once. I never get deals like this.

 

So we drive around town some more and come to this Giant field where we run our dogs and I hit golf balls with my pitching wedge. She wanted a lesson. Since she is just starting I put the ball on the tee for her and had her use a 8 iron. After a couple tries she starts to get a little air and starts to really like it. She tells me she is on for golf now. She did seem to take my instructions pretty good, head down, arms straight, so on. She is kind of strong too, from walking huge pit bulls around on a leash every day (for years). I may have created a monster. I no longer have the golf course as a place of peace and solitude anymore.

 

She was good at using her irons off the tee, there are a lot more elements to the game. She will probably do well at all of them though. I seem to have a way to teach people stuff fast. I taught my brother to ski in one day for instance. It is not like I am a pro at golfing or skiing, but I have had lessons for both and remember what was taught to me. Maybe tomorrow I will have her use her driver.

 

We ran the shit out of the dogs too. I love to see them run at this park. My pup turns 1 year old today and we have been wishing him happy birthday for three days. He runs like a bull! I like the idea of wearing him out so that he will sleep well, but in doing this we are building his body. We took him to the vet for a weighing and check up (86lbs) and the doctor noted that he was pure muscle, something that I already knew. This year has been challenging and it don't look to be getting any easier. He is the most needy, greedy, forceful, powerful, vocal dog I have ever seen. He wants everything I have and don't let up. While I am making hash today he kept crying and scratching on me. I had to keep handing him ice cubes out of the bucket to shut him up. I compare growing my pure Colombian Jamaican Sativa to having a pup like this at my age.

 

My girl has been sort of upset the past couple of days, she just heard her father was in the advanced stages of cancer and I find her crying when I catch her alone. I need to be good to her, better than usual.

[Guest BrockSamson]

the one thing i notice about your commentaries Ran is that you keeeeeeeep things positive my friend optimistic which I have found to be the best medicine (ftw pills don't do shit), i'm glad to see that there's still good people out and about nowadays.

 

BUT that brings me to a drunk story (this literally is going to take me awhile to type)

 

I remember once when I took 10 hits of acid (mind you I have serious anxiety issues) me and 2 of my friends would hang out my friend's back yard where hangs a giant willow tree overlooking a lagoon (overlooking the campus) offf in the distance you can see a the metal rails across a long pond (almost a lake) that encompasses the lagoon (it seems atleast 100 to 200 yards i kid tou not).

 

My friends and I were hitting some golf balls (that me brother had given me not long before) off of our shoes (we had no tees so we used our shoes to balance the balls (lol) but that did the job) 2 magnum 40's later a random man in the section 8 housing (struggling with crack addiction, it was obvious) came up and challenged us to a TEE OFFFF

 

The man came up to us and said "a hole for a dollar" (lol) we first asssumed he was attempting sexual advances, but once he pulled out his driver (not a dick but the actually driver) we realized the man was serious about a TEE OFFF. We all laughed and agreed to the challlenge (before this I had climbed the tree that was a challenge on its own but I pussied out on the swinging from the branch like a monkey 2 stories up)

 

He said "a hole for a dollar" which in any young mind bended into some funny weird shit (we all laughed, anybody would when a mentally unstable stranger comes up to you and says "a hole for a dollar",but we accepted the challenge nonetheless.

 

The stranger started out, he weighed his driver and looked off into the distance (me and my friend had been amateurs just hitting golf balls across the lagoon for fun). We had already asssumed this person was a pro based off his challenge.The man weighed his distance and stroke the golfball off the tee he had already set up. The ball went at a high velocity 50 meters into a tree (lol, basicallly going nowehere), just barely crossing no man's land (a river, mind you if the legend goes if you step foot into this river you will never leave the town again, like I have several times before and I don't mind cause I have learned to love all towns and people). The man and his girlfriend didn't look astounded (as if this had happened before).

 

Then of course it was my frienda turn (100X more athletic than anybody else I know). He hit the golf ball with no plan or precision in mind. The golfball went flying across the vast lagoon hitting a metal railing on the other side (we knew cause it made a lous DING!!! sound). We all laughed for we had not expected such a feat. (especially after the stranger's epic challenge failure challenge).

 

SO NOW it had been my turn. Anxiety and awkwardness running through my veins I didn't expect to do anything spectacular (a little voice in the back of my mind said "if you can climb that tree then you can fuck that golf ball up"). I set the golf ball up on my friend's nike shoe. I charged up my shot and without lookin (maybe wiht my mind) I went for an all out happy gilmore shot. WHOOOSEHHH was the sound when I hit the folg ball followed by a loud DING!!!, I had hit the golfball as far as my athletic friend had. We all had laughed as the man gave out his dollar to both me and my friend who spent more than half of each on more magnum 40's as we drank em desperado style in the middle of the side street (small town in the summer no cops, do as you please within certain limits)

 

today was the first day that I have drank and smoked since IBOGA and I now realize why. Thank you.

[randude 2,512]

There is a sayiing in my circle that goes like this:

 

The difference between a golf story and a fairy tale is that a ferry tale starts off Once upon a time and a golf story starts off with This ain't no shit.

 

 

So once we get around I am going to take her to the range so that we can both hit our drivers and I can teach her to putt. I love to be able to whack the ball with all my might and not effect a score card.

 

Between the years of 1995 and about 2003 I played a lot of golf. It was all I could think of. I would stop by a course on my way home from work and either play a nine hole pitch and putt, hit balls at the range, or play a regulation round with my buddies, alone or with strangers. I had half a dozen putters, half a dozen drivers, and two sets of clubs so that I could keep a set at home in Seattle and a set in Wisconsin where I was on assignment. (I was on assignment in Wisconsin from 2003-2005).

 

On February 28th, 2001 I was on vacation. I started my vacation a day early because I was at Boeing Everett (767) and transfered to Boeing Renton (757). All my stuff was being moved and was not ready yet, so instead of just wasting a day at work I went golfing, alone. I was in the back of my truck, unloading my clubs from one of those metal tool boxes and I heard a weird sound behind me. It sounded like this semi truck was running but there was no driver. Then my truck start moving up and down, side to side, I thought it was running. I turned around again and looked at the driving range and all the giant poles were wagging from side to side. I realized at that moment that we were having a big earthquake. I looked at this elderly fellow trying to get up the stairs into the clubhouse and asked him what he was trying to do. He told me there were older people in there that needed his help. And then it stopped. It was a 6.8 earthquake that lasted 45 seconds, and I am here to tell you that is a long time. http://en.wikipedia....ally_earthquake

 

So I go into the club house to pay my fee and the place with a mess, they had no power and all the golf equipment was on the floor. It was the members birthday party (a monthy thing) and there was cake and punch on the floor. I paid my fee and went out to play.

 

I tried to call my wife and the phones were down. I figured traffic would be a mess so I would just play golf all day. It was a 9 hole course, with a par 4 that was about 307 yards. I played this course a lot and never really used a card. it was just a place to practice my short game with the exception of that one par 4. I played one time through, nothing spectacular. My second time around I made good contact on that par 4 hole and the ball went long and straight over the little hill. When I walked over to the green I see my ball about 3 feet from the flag. In those days I was an awesome putter and 3 foot was a gimme. I tapped it in the hole and recorded my first Eagle!!!!! Two strokes under par ladies and gentlemen, and I was the only one to see it. I have been called a liar many a time on that one because if nobody else was there to see it just didn't happen. It was kind of an easy par 4 though and I bet a lot of people eagled it.

 

So my third time around the course I get a phone call from a frantic wife. She cannot believe I am golfing after the biggest earthquake either of us had seen. She wanted me to go to the school and pick up the kids. They were sending the kids home because there was no power. Although I lived One Block from the school, and the kids always walked home alone, because of the eathquake they made me pick them up personally. When I get home the house was a mess, crap everywhere. The quake shook my door open. All I could think of was my Eagle lol.

 

My buddies from Boeing and I had tickets to fly the Vegas the next day, March 1, 2001. We meet at the airport to find one of the control towers destroyed from the quake. All the flights the previous day were cancelled, or at least a good many were. A lot of really scruffy people all over the airport trying to get a flight out of there. Airlines are not responsible and do not put you up for weather or acts of god. Those without means had to sleep in the airport that night. Because one of the towers were down the speed of the airport was half normal and we had to spend an extra long time waiting for our flight. That was a big quake. At the airport my best buddies highly doubted my story of the eagle. They all knew I played every day and in fact played 27 holes the day of the biggest quake, but still.. randude got an Eagle??

 

We went to Vegas for a week, got drunk, acted stupid and flew back home. I actually paid for my stay there with a couple lucky rolls on the slots. I actually broke even. Getting home was almost as much trouble because of a rain squal and we had to be routed differently. I get back to my new office at Boeing Renton, and there was red tape around the whole building. It was condemned. All my office gear was in that building. I called my boss and he talked me through getting around the facility to my new temporary office, a part of a hanger bay that they put some cubes in. A few months later I got some of my stuff out of my office, most of it was destroyed from falling bricks and broken sprinklers. The stories of those people exiting that building during the quake with bricks falling would make your hair stand up. I was glad I took the day off.

 

2001 was an amazing year. We had that big quake, the Seattle Mariners won 116 games beating the all time record for games won, the terrorist attacked us on 9/11, I quit Boeing to do the kind of engineering I truly love, I was able to write that trip to Vegas off on my taxes, and I got an Eagle. And that ain't no shit.

[Misterdirt 11,962]

Sarcastic Ramblings

 

This story does not involve being stoned, but it COULD have.

 

I used to work for a natural resource-related government agency in a former life. One day, I was driving around with a new employee, showing him the ropes, and some of the features of his new home (he moved from out of state for the job). So I'm yakking away, partly telling him about his job, and partly a tour guide.

 

We were in a rural area, and we passed a homemade sign that said "Stump Grinding." I don't know if this is true everywhere, but throughout the east, if a farmer has a big-ass wood chipper that can handle tree stumps, he advertises that fact. So FULLY EXPECTING that he would recognize the following statements as total and complete bullshit, I said, "Interestingly enough, 'stump grinding' is a euphemism for a house of ill repute around here."

 

I didn't smile, he didn't comment, and it was forgotten. Or so I thought.

 

About a month later, we were working on a project a few hours from home that would take a few days, so a group of guys from work were staying at a nearby motel. We were all at dinner, talking about what there was to do at night, when the new guy says, "I saw a place where we might be able to do a little 'stump grinding,' if you know what I mean."

 

The reaction from the other guys was complete bewilderment. What the fuck was this guy talking about? Then he started explaining, "Stump grinding is a euphemism for..." Holy shit. I didn't even recall saying that, until he recited my exact words. I had to walk away as these incredulous guys were asking where the fuck he ever heard something like that!

 

I thought I would get a reputation for being a good bullshitter after that, but as it turned out, my colleague was just amazingly gullible. He improved somewhat, over the years, but the story haunted him for about 5 years, until he moved on.

[nello236 32]

happy birthday "pup" and sorry to hear about your gf father

 

thoughts and positivity are with you bud, keep strong

[nello236 32]

1st time i ever got sooo stoned me and a friend bought half oz of potent hash at an unbelievable price and prior to this we had only ever had soapbar. A few hot knifes later, few games on PS1!!! and the munchies hit, we smashed a few bongs in prep for the voyage to the kitchen and 40 minutes late i had made it downstairs and proceeded to argue with my reflection and dance to the sound of the microwave defrosting my cheesecake. Best feeling (and music) ive had the pleasure of experiencing. that half oz lasted us 3 weekends of similar stories for another day lol

[randude 2,512]

It is tough going right now, I catch her crying. A song on the radio can set her off. I need to be super sensitive now.

Thanks for the kind words. We both have big close families with everything that goes with them. Drama, pain and regret.

[santero 9,400]

stoned ramblings, say or post anything you want.

 

if i do, i will be banned LOOOOOL (i'm just joking, eh? ... hehehe)

[randude 2,512]

My puppy Buzz Well (The Buzz of Wellington) had an awesome birthday party. Just some words of advice, don't give a pit bull puppy birthday cake, All that sugar... it makes them insaner than they already are.

[nello236 32]

haha mine goes on a mad hour (saffordshire bull t) after 1 square choc. destroys the shit out of his favorite squeaker, a stuffed duck from big bass pro

[DesertGrown 3,093]

Next time give him his own steak for his birthday. When I had pits, I gave them steak on their birthdays... most of my pits were dogs that I rescued from dogfighting... I would fix them up, take care of them and find them new homes. I had a pit that was a Jeep descendent, but I never fought him... I don't go for dogfights.

 

My puppy Buzz Well (The Buzz of Wellington) had an awesome birthday party. Just some words of advice, don't give a pit bull puppy birthday cake, All that sugar... it makes them insaner than they already are.

 

It's still better than chicken blood & gunpowder, lol.

[randude 2,512]

LoL This is turning into a pit bull thread. But no... anyone can say anything. Even if you got a chihuahua, a cat or some squirrel you feed.

 

I got my Guiness the road dog (G-Dog) when he was past his puppy years. Guiness is the one in my avatar. My understanding of pit bulls and how they behave was based on him, so getting a puppy didn't seem like a big deal. I am here to tell you that it is a big deal. The puppy is probably going to get his nuts cut off soon. I hate to cut the line, but I am too old for his shit, and too old to ever want a pup. The only reason to keep the line would be to give someone else a pup. And I know, there are other reasons not to cut them. But my older dog got to keep his. The luck of the draw.

[nello236 32]

health benefits of castration are there and it calms em down hell of a lot but Randude, maybe let him breed 1 time and you will be amazed how that almost has the same effect. (Also with big dogs, swimming works wonders. had a headcase Rottie 1 time that had been rescued from abuse. 3 months of coaxing chicken livers, swimming, patience and a lot of love and he was a different dog)

[Misterdirt 11,962]

Puppies are very cute and fun, but they are also destructive shit factories. I'm convinced that dogs under 3 months of age magically produce more matter in the form of shit than the amount of matter that went down their throats in the first place.

 

Yeah, that thermodynamics nonsense of not being able to create or destroy matter? Those bullshit artists never had a puppy.

[McPurp 10]

Oh damnit. Lol Misterdirt's comment is not only funnier than hell, but so damn true. Dont know if all puppies do it, but mine eats the most random and stupid shit sometimes. Like chewing a fucking hole down through the center of my daughters mattress, eating the foam pad, then later having a case of the foam stuffing shits all the way down the hallway. Love my doggie though.

[randude 2,512]

Both my dogs, father and son, are powerful, spirited, and freaky dogs. Pit bulls seem the most un-dog like of any dog I have ever seen, and the hardest dogs to train. The father has always been extremely private about his shitting. He had to leave the property and put it someplace where someone can't really see it. He wants a bush or tall weed patch. Home to Guiness is any place we are staying, whether we are in a tent camping or visiting friends, he has to leave the property and find a bush to hide it in. Almost like a cat, short of burrying it. Dogs seem to teach pups millions more things than people teach them, and the pup does a lot of things that Guiness does. Guiness has always been a grass freak. Every day he seeks out tall tender shoots of grass, and he grazes like a cow. I have watched him eat a good amount of grass, bite after bite in amazement. Now the pup does that too. Apparently they have found some food benefit from eating a lot of grass.

 

I love these dogs, and that is why we made a pup to begin with. I have never had a more loyal friend in my life. I would take a bullet for him and he me. I expect someday to have the same deal with the pup, and I probably will. Just waiting for the pup to mature is a lot of work. At least he doesn't shit in the yard, because he does eat and shit a lot.

[Tiger 82]

Get her dad some Rick Simpson oil and save his life!

[randude 2,512]

I am working a kind of project that starts out slow (for the electrical evolutions) but after several months or just web surfing and joking with my partner the nightmare begins. We have now 50 men of various skill and dedication level under our control that are all individuals that have difficulty synchronizing with our goals. It is more difficult than herding 50 cats.

 

My partner is old school, he has more power than me, but I have more knowledge and together we are a team. He does not make friends with the workers and just gives them task to do and then it is up to me and a couple others below me to motivate them and collect status. These fellows do not care about the contract delivery dates, and they do not care about the reputation of our company. All they care about is a paycheck. A good many of them would enjoy this contract getting behind so that we would need to have them work more than a 40 hour week and therefore receive premium pay.... which is not in our budget. A lot of factors and milestones between now and delivery and too much to ever write here. Let me just say that my project is always on my mind.

 

Most of the men that work for me smoke, and a few of them are growers. One of the men gave me my Grape Ape plants and some Urkle in bud form. (Apparently that is his side job). I try to motivate my men with mutual respect and appeal to them to give me a break and get certain task done to meet our milestones and also deliver to me my status on a regular basis. I think my technique for motivation works better than my partner, who just wants to fire everyone that doesn't take his orders as though they come from God himself. Like i say, we are all individuals and including all of us there are about 54 today (the number changes up and down weekly and sometimes daily). I am also the one that makes sure all the men's hours are in to our bookkeeper and that is another story in it's own. I can spend two or more days a week dealing with payroll issue and that is one of the toughest parts of the job.

 

LaVie seen me post in the middle of the night and suggested Insomnia. Is that what you call this?

[randude 2,512]

And now it is Friday night. i have been home for over an hour and my body and mind are still humming from another brutal day. I almost had my engineering intern come in tomorrow. My partner wanted me to come in tomorrow (i almost considered it, and I may show up just to see how he is doing and to maybe bring him a sandwich). It reminds me of the jungles of Viet Nam.... at least from the movies i seen. Just a little too young to have experienced that.

 

Seriously, this is one of the roughest contracts I ever worked, at least mentally.

 

[randude 2,512]

Ah... Saturday. I still woke up early, as usual, but just got the laptop out as she slept. I went looking for a sativa growers support group. Looking at my Col Jam I feel like it is never going to finish. I will not even know when it is finished. I found a lot of threads on the internet with people telling other sativa growers to keep their heads up,.. they will be happy.

 

I need to call my office pretty soon and see if my partner is doing okay. We are under a lot of pressure to show our customers that we are proceeding with this contract at a rate sufficient enough to deliver on time. Running late is no option, so whatever has to be done to meet delievery is what we have to do. I have a few tricks up my sleave, if the company owner lets me use them. He is a tyrant of sorts and makes me feel like he is tying our hands in this whole ordeal. My only source of relief is my garden.

 

My gf daughter is coming back home from Orlando on Wednesday. She will be 18 in November and she is a couple months pregnant. I call her my step daughter because I have been with her mother for a few years now. It looks like we will be the ones that will be taking care of her through this. Her Brazilian bf is staying in Orlando and the way the girls talk never to be seen again.

 

Monday we have a friend and her daughter coming down from Alaska. Some of you may remember that her daughter was shot point blank in the head in an accident of sorts with a small hand gun. The girl beat the odds and lived through, although she still has a lot of problems and will have forever. She is coming back to Seattle for some follow up treatments and will be flying back out Thurday.

 

Always lots of people and activity at randude house, usually females. Females are fun, but always add a lot of weird energy and drama. I worry a lot about some of that energy and drama attracting a visit from the police. So far so good and I don't know why. For that reason I have to fight hard to maintain totally legal compliance in my hobby. As a result, I had to harvest one of my grape apes possibly a little earlier than I had expected. I never grew it before and never scoped it, but it did have an amber cast over the super frosty buds. A plant of about 3 feet netted about an ounce, maybe a bit more. I did drop a fan on the main cola of this plant so that is part of the yield problem... but it has smallish buds scattered about a lanky plant with longer nodes, and is just not the producer that my blue dream is. The smell his high compared to blue dream as well. I have not lit a fresh hit yet, all I have had are bowls that were already cooked by my gf. I will light a joint of it today to give a fair assessment. GF says it is very good weed and fell asleep last night clinching a bowl and a lighter in her hand. She woke up and found a mark on her hand from holding the pipe all night. That may be all the smoke report I need.

[Scone_Of_Ark 2,411]

Does this look like an 8th to you?

 

 

Anyone from as far back as Overgrow remember that thread?

[randude 2,512]

lol I find myself saying that when I buy gram samples at the dispensaries... I have eyeballed a lot of grams in my day and what I see weighed out at the dispensaries looks like about 3/4.

[Misterdirt 11,962]

Does this look like an 8th to you?

 

 

Anyone from as far back as Overgrow remember that thread?

 

I like the depiction of the trichs. An artist's conception.

[randude 2,512]

Seahawks Sunday!!! And they are doing really well. I feel the tug to get excited about it again, as in my youth. And, as last week another birthday party to go to where the men of the family sit by the television watching the game while the women gossip about the family.

I end up leaving my gf on an too short of a leash around my family at such parties.

 

I haven't taken any photos lately and feel I should. I see some seeds forming in a couple of Blue Dreams that were pollenated by Col Jam. I do see the same with the Col Jam female that I was originally suppose to pollinated. Col Jam is a difficult plant on so many levels, the opposite of Blue Dream.

 

We got a lot of rain this weekend and I feel for all the brothers and sisters that had outdoor plants. This is way too early for such a ruinous rain.

[Misterdirt 11,962]

Your rain was even on the news here in NC. Sounds like some serious business near the Cascades.