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Nightmara

Hi all I'm back. Worse than ever :D

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10grams of Mckennai gave me some insight yesterday. Tried to apply work but they keep spitting on me. Wish I had an idea for own company.

I will just stack money and try to get into NL university or something and roll to psychotherapy .. Thanks for all the help guys great points. Just wish I was interested in something so I could actually study with passion. Every time I think about my future this heavy as fuck apathy lands on my shoulders :/

Lets try to make a song maybe it'll make me feel better. The thing about school too is scaring me because I've smoked and idled over 10years already so I don't know if I can get my ass in line.

 

And I would migrate so I could get away from my bad habits. All my friends are brainless users I can't understand how I've drifted to such posse

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Hey @Nightmara, bro, give yourself credit for where you're at right now. You're bright enough to know something is wrong. You're blessed since others never get and couldn't care less. But you do. Carry that with you.

 

Patience. It's always been the hardest thing for me, but you have to have a little. Don't feel like you have to solve all your problems today, at the same time, you don't. Dude, you have already made a huge leap. Seriously. You get it. You see there are things wrong.

 

So, don't be too hard on yourself. You can't change the people around you that are bringing you down. So, right off the bat, you get to give yourself a pass on that. It's out of your control.

 

You're reaching out to people for help right now, by talking with us. You've already started your journey bro. Reward yourself, be happy for that one decision alone and build on the wins like that!

 

The worst part is it won't change overnight so you have to work with that and stay on the same path no matter what. Circumstances don't have to dictate your feelings. Stay with us, at least, and we can at least care. And, we'll do what we can to help you find a path forward. Slow down a little and KNOW that you have started your journey already brother!

 

Problem is, you haven't traveled far, yet, and you can still see behind you. That will pass, trust me. I can tell from your hurting desire that your are ready to make change.

 

The path will become all new soon. And, before long you will realize that you no longer see those bad memories that were so close behind you not so long ago.

 

One step at a time bro. One foot in from of the other. Keep talking with us and take only the good.

 

And, I can say this enough, and how much it will change you for the good... find someone else to help. Even though it's you whio needs it, for once stop thinking of yourself long enough to find someone even more needy than you.

 

Elderly people always need a hand, and they are always so grateful. And, they have loads of good advice from a life lived already. I mean it. It doesn't have to be big. Start small. Open doors for everyone. Smile and greet perfect strangers even if they flip you off. It'll start to grow inside of you.Wave at strangers with a smile. But, find something to do for someone else, and I guarantee you it will make you feel good about yourself faster than the anxiety drug can work.

 

I'm like Doug. I had my own personal experiences and struggles and I speak with that knowledge. I tried all other wrong ways, and finally I found my peace. I'm still broke, but I'm happy. Isn't that what we all desire? Peace? Jobs won't bring it, necessarily, nr will money, friends or anything else you may think might do it. You have to find that inside, and then you will have peace, whether you have money or not.

 

Find little things that you can start doing for others, that are nice or friendly. Very simple. I promise it'll put a silly smile on your face as you start to see how it works.

 

Get back to me and tell me what you think.....

 

disclaimer: I am barely awake and still having coffee and I haven't even toked a bowl... yikes! So, this may be the clearest headed thinking you'll ever get from me.. ha

 

peace

 

mrG

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I'm sorry to hear of your troubles with depression. Depression is the one thing that makes all other moods worse... but it may be successfully remedied with cannabis.

 

There are two things that you should be looking for in your cannabis. The two things to keep an eye out for are the terpenes B-caryophyllene and limonene.

 

Beta-caryophyllene is a terpene also found in hops and black pepper that is known to have stimulating effects.

 

Limonene is normally found in sativas/satty dom strains and citrus, it has strong anti-depressant properties.

 

If you have anxiety issues as well, there are two more terpenes to watch for... Linalool and Myrcene.

 

Linalool is more commonly found in indicas/indi-dom strains and lavender plants and is known for its strong anti-anxiety properties.

 

Myrcene is a common cannabis terpene that is also found in mangoes that helps considerably with anxiety.

 

Please be aware that both Linalool and Myrcene have sedating properties and are not recommended for treating depression.

 

Based on these facts, do a little research on the strains that interest you and see what you can find out about their genetic makeup... this will help you figure out what terpenes will be most prevalent in those strains. Some websites give terpenoid breakdowns on the strains they offer... this is free information that you can use in your searches... use it to find the best options of cannabis strains that may work best for you.

 

Remember to take small doses at first... you want to make sure that you are getting the reaction you desire. From there, adjust your dosages as needed.

 

As for your work issues... try to find people that need small jobs done, any kind of work that pays, including your chosen profession. Always do your best work, keeping safety in mind for the customer and yourself, and the "word-of-mouth" that will be generated from the work you perform will take good care of you.

 

Try and keep this in mind... The only person in your life that you can control is you. Try not to let others control your mood and/or emotions by letting them push your buttons. Don't give them the satisfaction.

 

Good luck with everything Nightmara, it'll all work out with time.

 

Think positive to stay positive... people are more apt to talk to someone who looks happier than sad.

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That's a nice summary of the terpene breakdown. I haven't seen it in such a quick and easy summary. I can use that info as well. No wonder I loved homebrewing beer and hops. i grew hops a few years. I love the hoppiest bitter IPA's. Beachbud was the first one that gave me an idea when he mentioned the Myrcene in his Phuuu's IPA.

 

I need to start thinking like that. I need to start tailoring some of my smoke to medical so that I know which is which and what they should do for me. Right now, I just try and smoke it all.

 

Best vibes Nightmara!

 

peace

 

mrG

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A small, cheap and friendly town... homebrewing beer... weed... :dribble: Mr Goodfellow, where did you say you lived? :whistle: Enjoy it bro!

 

Greetings SiCKNeSs.

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I tell you I have to deal with people almost on a daily basis I would not have one thing to do with if not in this business, I struggle in my head at times with it. Bitch about what the person did do myself or anyone in ear's reach, then take a deep breath, and remind myself it is only business, you aren't marrying the damn fool. :)

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I'm going to stop telling anyone... I still pinch myself. The people are my favorite thing about it, and the countryside. And, the weed...

 

It's actually a boring town I guess to most people after a while, but I needed it. People are from everywhere so it's an intellectually competent town. I think there are tons of places out there like this now, in Colorado. If the county voted for legal pot, there is pot there. It amazes me how you can drive for 50 miles through the farmlands and all of a sudden there is a big green cross on the side of the road; a pot shop. :-)

 

Lots of these towns were dying and now people my age are moving here to anywhere in the state, to retire and have legal pot. So, all the little towns are a little cool.

 

I really think it's cool how the old folks are okay with it all. It's all very organic and beautiful. We all have permission to be friends now!

 

The whole world should stand up and take notice. It works.

 

peace

 

mrG

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I had a woman sit in my kitchen, mind you I am elderly, modest, pull down my dress to cover my knees type lol but I am accepting of others. She proceeded to tell me about being a pro, and shitting on men for 200 bucks lol The world is full of crazy people. She literally stood up, squatted, to show me, and told me the story. ha ha ha I dont' think I would have met her, had it not been part of this business.

 

Psssst, she also showed me her nipple ring, and wanted to make sure I had a really good upclose look of it. lol No I like men, not women lol

 

Hope I made you at least chuckle a little nightmara lol

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Could anyone send seeds? Preferably something that helps with depression? I dont feel anxiety and I prefer oldschool sativas.. Sorry if it's forbidden to ask!

 

BTW I found new hobby! electric guitar! fucking love it! finally my life has something.. been also thinking about starting to work as electrician

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Stay with it bro! One day at a time. It's okay to have a few bad ones. But work to make more good ones. You already are!

 

peace

 

mrG

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I'm going to stop telling anyone... I still pinch myself. The people are my favorite thing about it, and the countryside. And, the weed...

 

It's actually a boring town I guess to most people after a while, but I needed it. People are from everywhere so it's an intellectually competent town. I think there are tons of places out there like this now, in Colorado. If the county voted for legal pot, there is pot there. It amazes me how you can drive for 50 miles through the farmlands and all of a sudden there is a big green cross on the side of the road; a pot shop. :-)

 

Lots of these towns were dying and now people my age are moving here to anywhere in the state, to retire and have legal pot. So, all the little towns are a little cool.

 

I really think it's cool how the old folks are okay with it all. It's all very organic and beautiful. We all have permission to be friends now!

 

The whole world should stand up and take notice. It works.

 

peace

 

mrG

 

How's Last Chance doing?

 

I passed through that town, back in the 80s, and always thought it would be great to have the Last Chance Cannabis Shop — Last reefer before Kansas!

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Not sure, I haven't been that way in a long time. In my old days of surveying all over the place I traveled almost every route between the deep south and Montana.

 

Our little town is a "Last Chance" pot town. It's the only reason it has so many shops. Last stop before New Mexico and Texas beyond. We get people from NM, Texas, Oklahoma, and Kansas, on a regular basis. They keep this town alive. Otherwise it was a dying, forgotten, little place on the interstate.

 

Lots of places are out there like that, though. I've seen shops in some totally out of the way places. Eastern Colorado hasn't embraced pot yet, but I did see not long ago one of the towns close to Kansas finally approved the sale of it.

 

I think the more time that goes by, with no real problems arising from legalization, the more other states will climb aboard. Our little town is perfectly fine at the moment, letting others come and leave their money here. :)

 

peace

 

mrG

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Sounds like a town I lived in Wyoming, first one you hit from the Utah border, age limit 19, Utah 21. Poor little town was a boom town, folks from all over the states swooped in and took over, poor folks never even had a stop sign in that town before we all hit lol.

 

Every bartender I knew was a dealer, and Coke was huge.

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Dude!! We might know each other! I worked at the Last Outback for years, and then the Wyoming State Hospital. :) I might have served you a meal or a beer or a cup of Joe. lol

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This a little funny. I only just explained to @Rhino in his thread a while ago, how I got my worst injuries. I was in a helicopter crash south of Evanston around 30 miles next to the Uinta Mountains in May '81. We actually lived in Ogden, Utah, now that I think of it. We had to drive to Evanston every morning for work. We couldn't even find a place to live there, not even a motel room. Oil Boom.

 

What had you out there. Same thing as everybody, money? heh. Good times. You can bring this back up in your thread if you want. I don't want to walk all over Nightmara's thread.

 

peace

 

mrG

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Yea take it up in Stoned ramblings, this has me tickled! lol

 

Someone needs to get beans out lol I am real iffy on shipping over seas or I would do it. :)

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